Reducing your child support payments
As promised, here are some tips for reducing your child support payments (UK specific). I won’t get into the whole moral issue of whether this is the right thing to do, that’s your choice. For me personally, I would rather have the extra cash and be able to spend it on my kids myself, than support my kid’s mothers and in the one case, her other to new kids (for a married man).
Anyway…
1. Pay more on your mortgage – On the old CSA assessment method, your living expenses will be taken into consideration before maintenance is calculated. This only applies to you if you are on the old assessment system.
2. Keep them overnight as much as possible – If you regularly spent time with your kids say Friday to Sunday, then those two nights should be deducted from your maintenance. Add any additional days you take them away. Two weeks in the sun during the summer, when they stop over during the christmas break. You should be compensated for this so if it works out to 2 nights a week on average, this will net you 2/7th reduction in your maintenance.
3. Take into account travel expenses – If it costs you more than £10 a week to keep in contact with your child, then this can be taken into account. This could include phone bills, or travel expenses to go and visit or have them visit you.
4. Pay yourself in dividends – if you own your own business. It is perfectly legal to decrease your actual salary to a bare minumum of say £5000 and pay yourself if dividends. Earnings derived from shareholdings are not normally taken into account for your assessment and you have no obligation to inform the CSA about them. The CSA don’t normally count dividends paid to a director of a Ltd company, unless the mother asks them to.
5. Don’t brag to your ex-partner – if she thinks you are earning more money she may query this with the CSA, who may come looking and try to assess you based on their perception of your current lifestyle, and look more closely at your finances.
6. Come to an agreement – if she is not a total bi*ch and you can actually come to an arrangement then the best bet would be to agree on an amount between yourselves that is obviously lower than what you would have to pay normally. If this is the case, keep a record of all payments made.
Good advice. Especially about the dividends.
Thanks
Is this actually legal? I mean the dividends bit. I have just been made redundant and am planning on going it alone. I haven’t yet decided on whether to set up as a sole trader or limited company though. (I’m a plumber)
The mother of my children though goes on 2 holidays a year (without the kids) and has a better house than me… I just don’t feel that it’s right when I’m struggling to make ends meet.
Hi, my partner was on the old scheme, but set up a private agreement with his ex for his `12 year old daughter which he handed to her every week has they had stopped mates. Anyway i found out i was pregnant with our baby girl and has not decided to go through the csa .. i cud understand but the end of the day they have been split up 11 years so hardly rubbing her nose in it!!
Anyway she has told them that he hasnt paid know money in that time and obviously cant prove it and they are demanding an extra £280 a month!!!.. we are totally skint..how come it costs £600 a month in total to bring up a 12 year old yet i recieve £168 to bring up a 14 week old baby!!!
I would recommend that you contact Child Support Solutions who can help mediate with the CSA to resolve any problems with the CSA. They can be contacted on 08456 588683.
Best of Luck and I hope that you remember your predicament if the shoe is ever on the other foot.
My partner of 14 years has two children age 18 and 15, he paid her through the CSA for the first 5 years before before being put on short time at work and his CSA assessment going to nil. He then made a private arrangement with her and has paid her directly for the past 10 years. Due to some recent friction arising as he was not prepared to lie by saying his oldest child lived with us to presumably cheat the student loan system as her and her husband have very well paid jobs. She has now used her ultimate weapon of re-involving the CSA and a change of circumstance letter arrived from them today. It seems so unfair that we are now going to have to pay a lot more to her just because we stood up to her for a change. Also it appears that we are on the old system of calculating maintenance…why is that and will it be worse for us?? Why is it that two identical cases could end up paying different maintenance because the calculations are made from different schemes?? Will we have to pay arrears even though we can prove we have paid every month, just maybe not as much as they’re now probably going to say???? So many questions….help!!!! I hate the CSA. It has been the bain of our lives for all these years, we just seem to be easy targets.
CSA Do take into account the dividends.
There are plenty of parents, both resident and non resident that find themselves in awful situations due to the CSA / CMEC – Sadly, it is apparent that qualifying children / relevant other children are NOT always top priority.
A http://www.afairercsaforall.co.uk , is a web based advisory group, its run by parents for parents. We offer FREE help, advice and support to ALL parents having problems – join us in the forum.
Hi
I am currently paying Child Support for two children (17 & 18) apparently both are in full time education. I have been informed from sources that the eldest child is pregnant therefore should I be paying maintenance for her as should she be conidered as a child under her present condition??
Hi,
I am currently paying £900 pound a month to the CSA, £ 500 is arrears charges
from when i was notified 2 1/2 years ago but did not pay.
I met this girl 15 years ago when i was 19 and she was 25, to cut along story short
we split up and being young and nieve as i was kept going back when i was drunk
and she claimed she was pregenant.Alot was said and I was dounbtful it was mine as she had guys round and ex’s. 25 years later i get a letter to pay £12,000 back pay
I have not seen her since we broke up and had not seen her during her pregnancy.
The csa last year Started taking money at source to the tune or £1200 a month at first which crippled me and my fiance who is pregnant did not take it too well.
And then when i refused to pay any more as i couldnt the threatened to take me to court and charge me with the cost. so i had to pay them £4000 off a credit card to stop this.
It’s been an absolute nightmare. i did a DNA test which proved positive.
With me not ever seeing my daughter i cant make a judgement if she is mine.
But anyways whats bugging me after all these years, why now?
My ex has a different surname and so does my daughter .
Is there a way i can contest this or get the payment reduced because i cant afford this huge payment every month, i just feel robbed as i have not even seen my daughter or know where she lives or anything!!!!!
The sensitive case team at the csa wont give me any details.
Can anyone advise me?
My soon to be exwife’s new man (one of many she was seeing before we split) is poised to move into the house im paying for.
His house is currently on the market for £565,000.000. yet she is chasing me for a cut of a compensation claim for a permanent injury i recieved a few years ago that will be less than 10K.
Both my kids want to live with me, and ask every time i pick them up, as the mother has not one maternal bone in her body and unsuprisingly wants to hang on to them and claim benefits.
At what age can my kids say ’screw you mum, were off to dad’s and aint never coming back’. which incidently, is a day i look forward to.
Ian… I would get legal advice and go for full or at least joint custody.
Hi
If your ex is not spending the money you give on your kids, here are some of the ways you can reduce csa deductions:
1. If you are a self-employed, incorporate your business into a limited company, charge the company a goodwill and draw it out as and when you need it. Also sell the assets to the company. Consider Capital gains implications before doing that.
2. Pay yourself minimum salary, just above the threshold (current 5720) to count for state pension and take the rest as dividends. It is also more tax efficient.
2. If you have a partner, give her 24% shares in the company so that 24% of the dividends can be paid to her. As you still hold 76% of the shares you are still in charge. If your partner can be trusted in the long run, you can transfer more shares to them. Or even have different classes of shares, give them shares with less voting rights etc.
3. Make generous pension contributions.
4. If you travel for business, use your private car and charge the company for business travel at HMRC approved mileage rates (40p for first 10,000 miles and then 25P per mile). This will cover the cost of motoring and it is tax free to you while tax deductable for the company.
5. If you are not seeing your kids, go overseas and work, there are some contries CSA can’t interfere such as Dubai.
6. Claim maximum (legally allowed) expenses through the company.
7. Keep the funds in the company, aliment is calculated on your income, not on company’s income. Keep the funds in the company as long as possible or invest through the company.
8. Find a way to conver your profits into capital gains, CSA does not take capital gains into account. For example you can sell one business for a capital gain and then set up another one, then sell it again for capital gain.
9. You could take loan from the company and pay interst, but this may be subject to sec 419 tax which is 25%, but the good thig is that when the loan is repaied (kids are over 16 etc) the tax can be reclaimed.
I hope this helps.
Raj
If you are self-employed sacrifice your salary and ask your employer to make pension contributions instead.
Absolutely brilliant advice Raj…. thanks very much
Loving that you all think maintenance payments are for your ex’s…Surprise surprise it’s really for the general up keep of the children that you had together. Ex’s are allowed to work hard and go on holidays or have nice houses…doesn’t mean you should find every way not to pay for your kids!
“would rather have the extra cash and be able to spend it on my kids myself, than support my kid’s mothers and in the one case”,
And what if the father of my child doesn’t want to spend time with his 9 month old son and therefore does not spend it on his kid himself? What can I do to stop him paying himself the lowest wages possible and big dividends?
I am the company secretary, can I do anything?
could some tell me more about ltd
We have recently had a variation against us regarding high pension contributions. The law changes in April 2009 but no amount appears to have been set by the House of Lords does anyone know the answer to the maximum pension contributions
Re: Variation due to high pension contributions
If you are an employee, you can sacrifice some salary and get your employer to make the pension contributions.
How much £ difference would thier be if I were to take out a ‘new pension’ when CSA are taking out an assesment? how would the CSA calculate you net income? No Pension curently & 48yrs old … doh!
Rick,
It depends how much you pay into a pension, the CSA calculate your payments based on your NET income, so gross income minus NI, Tax and pension contributions. You will be better off in the long run paying maximum into a pension but could end up cutting yourself really tight financially so it’s about finding a happy medium.
Also for info to the group i have been told that if i opt into the company car scheme at work i will reduce my payments to the CSA as my tax code will increase therefore taking more tax off me. Obviously my NET income will be lower but i will not be paying for fuel, insurance, wear and tear, repairs, etc so could end up better in the long run. Does anybody else know more about this before i take up the option?
This whole conversation makes me sick! These are your children you are defrauding NOT your ex partners. I gave up my wonderful career as a nurse to be a full time Mum 12 years ago. This was a joint decusion by me and my husband. Not only does he only pay me £10 a week for his 3 daughters but because he is an alcoholic the children wont see him. I am mother and father to my kids and now have to start my career at the bottom to feed them. How is this morally right??
Sara – You want to talk about making people sick? People like you do – you have NO RIGHT morally or logically to ANY of your ex’s money – despite what the government/CSA say. Whilst the current legislation is at odds with basic logic and moral principles, people will always do there best to avoid paying – and I for one will agree with them.
The choice to have a child was never joint between you and your husband. The person who has ultimate choice and therefore ultimate responsibility is the mother. The father cannot “choose” to have the pregnancy terminated for example. You made a bad decision in having children with that man – but thats life. Tough luck. Live with it and make better decisions in the future.
As for starting at the bottom with your career, how the heck is that your ex’s fault. YOU chose to have children. At any point you could have said no – but you did not. That is the consequence of having children (logically).
On the plus side, you do have 3 daughters which i’m sure you love and care for but damn woman, take responsibility for your own actions and stop trying to blame others – it was/is/has always been YOUR choice!
The CSA are claiming my partner has never paid a penny for his son, when he has! He paid £2000 out of our savings and they are claiming they never received this payment in June 08 despite saying at the time they did. He then paid £90 a month which CSA say they never received, then he got made redundant and CSA took £5 a week from his benefits and they are claiming they never received this too.
His son lives over 400 miles away and he pays £60 in fuel to pick him up and another £60 to take him back but the CSA don’t want to know and he does this every half term plus tube fares. He then started working again and the CSA did not take into account the distance from his home to where he worked even though it was over 30 miles every day. They said this only applies to how a ‘crow flies’ BOLLOCKS! Anyway they started taking money out of his wages and this left him with less than £600 to live with a £400 rent to pay.
He rang them up and said he could not live but they didn’t care they said he owed £2000 back money and he said he paid that along with £90 a month for a year until he got made redunant but they said they would send him a statement of what he had paid and nothing was on it! We are now in the process of going through old bank statements to prove payments.
He got made redundant again recently and daren’t work now as he knows he cannot live as the CSA just sting him. When his son visits he more than provides for him but they do not take this into account. We are at a loss over what to do???
Kris – Firstly, it WAS a joint decision to have children in my case and many other womens cases. Under the angle you are coming from maybe each woman should sign a Pre-nup stating that it is a joint decision and that an account should be set up to have monies deposited during the relationship in the event of a split later on?
I can only assume from your response that you either have a bitch of an ex partner or are single. If it was MY choice to have children why is my husbands name on their birth certificates, as if it were not he would have no obligation to pay any maintenance?
I also think that the majority of men in this situation would be horrified by your comments. They take full responsibilty for the creation and emotional and financial support of their kids. Your comments must not only enrage those like me: who has not pursued my ex for money at all as the CSA have done that, but the millions of male ex partners and single Dads who are proud of being a father.
Had the shoe been on the other foot and I had been the one working and building up a career I would happily be giving my ex partner money for MY children. But if you follow your logic, men can just walk away from their kids as it wasnt their fault their partner got pregnant!!! I am not talking about a one night stand, but an 18 year relationship where we BOTH decided to become parents, and in fact with our youngest it was my husband who was more keen than I and made promises he did not keep.
Yes, I should have been more careful in my choice of husband, but even though my ex is a drunk, he contacted the CSA and claimed his income to them, I did not.
I am lucky that I have my 3 daughters, but frankly a sperm donor would have been an easier option. Men like you make me sick. I am sure if you have children, and as you are on this forum I can only assume you do, that they would delighted to see that its not your fault they exist!!! What happend? Trip and fall in a darkened bedroom???
One thing you did say that was correct is that morally I have no right to my Ex’s money…Correct. But HIS children do.
If I have enraged yo because I think it is right that the non resident parent (father or mother) pays some money for the upbringing of their children and am disgusted by people looking for ways to pay less, then tough!
DADS WHO USE THE SYSTEM AND DON’T PAY FOR THEIR KIDS TO SCORE POINTS SHOULD BE ASHAMED. YOUR KIDS YOUR RESPONSIBILTY!! MY EX
DE FRAUDS THE TAX SYSTEM TO GET OUT OF PAYING FOR HIS 3 CHILDREN AND NEVER BUYS THEM A THING. HAS SEVERAL HOLIDAYS A YEAR (WITHOUT HIS KIDS) HAS 3 CARS AND A LARGE PROPErTY IN HALF AN ACRE. HIDES ALL HIS CASH LIKE A DIRTY CRIMINAL! HE HAS PROB HAD HIS RECENT TAX RETURN AND THIS IS NO DOUBT WHY HE IS REDUCING CONTACT WITH THEM ALSO, WAS ONLY HAVING THEM TO KEEP HIS PAYMENTS LOW. POOR KIDS ARE LOSING OUT BIG TIME. NOT ALL US MUMS ARE TRYING TO TAKE YOU FOR EVERY PENNY. KIDS ONLY ONES TO LOSE OUT IN ALL OF THIS, CRYING, WETTING THE BED, MISSING OUT ON TRIPS, TOYS ETC ETC ETC. WE WHERE BARELY MANAGING BEFORE……KIDS ARE EXPENSIVE!
WELL DONE TO THE MANY DADS WHO CARE FOR THEIR KIDS, EXCEPT RESPONSIBILTY AND PAY THEIR WAY..
THE REST OF YOU WANT TO THINK ON ABOUT THE BATTLE ZONE YOU CREATE, DON’T KNOW HOW YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT!!!!!
AS FOR KRIS…KIDS NOT A JOINT DECISION? GOD WHAT A CHARMER!
I can’t believe what im reading here. I was with my partner for 5 and an half years and we both planned our child and when we split up there was no question that he was goin to support his child in every way.
This website is what gives alot of absent fathers a bad name. There are so many fathers who want to support there children and be there, not find a way to get out of the obligation from they lay down with the mother and got pregnant. We can’t do it on our own!!!!!
There are mothers out there that do use the fathers money for themselves and I do not agree with but tarring all mothers with the same brush is disgusting!!
What about the mothers out there who have walked away and left the fathers bringing up the children would you all have a different opinion then!
There are always two sides to a story. Bad fathers and bad mothers.
I had an agreement set up with my ex husband for our 3 children and for 3 years he paid with some irregularity ( I had a full time job and paid a child minder when required as he was not reliable to look after them). After three years receiving £200 for all three per month I asked for an increase. My ex being a full time POLICE OFFICER baulked at the idea and called me a greedy B**** . I asked politely again and he stopped the agreed payments. So I went to the C.S.A . Several abusive phone calls followed from my ex. Some 6 years later children growing up quickly I have received payments via the CSA with the same irregularity. When he went on holiday without my children he decided not to pay maintenance that month. It has been a continual struggle and hassle making complaints to the CSA who give him the ‘benefit of the doubt’ .
He lies and tell the CSA they stay over when they haven’t to reduce his payments.
I am also know that he works on his days off for cash in hand.
I am worn down by the constant struggle to pay my bills and making constant phone calls to the CSA. I have now been 3 months with no maintenance ( have made another complaint).
What a lovely society we live in. Should I turn into a B**** as some may think we are ?
There are some interesting comments made in this thread. Of course everybodys circumstances are different and everyone has their own view of Child Maintainance payments and how they should work. So here is my situation…..
I split with my ex partner over 2 years ago and during the split a verbal agreement was made in terms of child maintainance. I have been paying £400 per month for my 2 children age 3 and 6 since the split. I now have a new partner who is pregnant. We have looked at our finances and now find that we cannot afford to live if I am paying this amount to my ex. How can a system, that is supposed to be a fair system, be so totally ignorant to a father moving on with a new life? I have never stopped paying towards my kids upkeep and have no problem in paying for them as they are mine and I love them. The problem that I do have is that the system does not take into account the cost of living for each parent and also the financial circumstances of both parties.
It seems that the current system is bias towards the mother and that she can have all the benefits, a good job and in excess of 20% of my salary to boot. She is substantially better off financially without me and continues to live in council property with reduced rent, reduced council tax and all the state provided benefits as well as having a very good career. If I better myself through my career then I am penalised (But incidentally I would have no problems sharing my gains with my children if it could be invested for their future without it affecting my living conditions), if she betters herself she benefits, how is this fair? There is also the question of disposable income. If the cost of living was taken into account then her disposable income would be in excess of £1000 per month, my own disposable income is around £200 per month. What is fair in this? She has 2 or 3 holidays a year and I cant afford 1, she has parties and goes out drinking every week. I stay in and watch tv because we cant afford to go out. I supported my ex partner through both pregnancies with her taking a year off for each. My new partner has to return to work after 3 months because we cannot afford to live without her salary.
I am in an 18 month court battle to see my kids as my new life does not suit my ex. My children used to stay with me and my new partner every 2 weeks and now I am lucky if I see them every 2 months on a Sunday afternoon. She ignores court orders and tells lies to the court at every turn without the need to provide any evidence of her lies. And to top it off I have to continue to make payments that I cannot afford. Where is the justice in this? Fact of the matter is that the justice system stinks and that good dads like me get a raw deal because of the few dads who cannot live up to their responsabilities. On the other side of the coin there are the mums out there who play the system for everything that they can get (Even if they have more than enough), being advised by other single mothers who have done the same thing and gotten away with it.
I dont agree with people who do not want to pay for their kids upkeep and look for ways in which not to make a contribution to their childrens upkeep. They should be made to pay, but what I can’t understand is a system that is not monitored by any means based calculation. I feel that if my life improves financially then my payments to her should be offering the same standard of living to my children. Not just providing additional disposable income to be wasted on her and the money not spent on my kids. There are a few women that take full advantage of the maintainance system and give other women who are clearly struggling to make ends meet a bad name.
I want a system that is fair to all parties and not bias towards one side alone. Until we can have this there is little hope for parents everywhere!
I and my partner totally agree that you should pay maintenance for your children. My partner pays maintenance to his ex every week and as also brought her other son up since the age of 1. It’s just that she’s a totally gready b*tch and doesn’t appreciate that my partner has brough her son up and still gives him money every week, for birthday’s, christmas and so on. I’m so frustrated as my partner can’t help me pay our house bills, or give me any money for our baby, I feel like a single parent even though I’m actually living with my baby’s father. And apart from this his ex text’s asking him to give the children extra pocket money or buy them football season tickets, or there alway’s something else she want’s. He alway’s agree but doesn’t have the money so he end’s up having the money from me which I never see again! so not only am I financing our baby, my partner, my self but also his ex’s children. So having read this article I think sometimes it can be good advice especially when the ex is a gready b*tch.
I split up with my ex over 15 years ago. We had final settlement in court where I signed over the house the cars the furnishings and bank accounts which I had started well before I ever met her. I walked away with what I thought was a clean break. I did all this on the promise I would have regular contact with my Kids. She moved in with her boy friend a couple of months later and stopped me seeing the kids for five years. She also contacted the CSA asking for maintenance. This all happened about ten years ago. I have now a new family two young girls and am rebuilding my life from nothing. Yesterday I recieved a letter demanding 22, 000 ponds in arreers from the CSA. I am shocked and it feels like all the pain anger and poisen have come back to haunt us.
How can the CSA think if is right to wreck our lifes, some one who has never worked never read a book living of the state and is morgage free down to me with one child of the age of sixteen be handed 22K windfall from a hard working family with two children aged 4 and 7. Do I realy need to go bankrupt, into hiding or start living of the state?
My Ex has had a working partner living in the house I paid for the last 10 years his own children have lived there. Who can I get advice from with out getting into debt?
Really interesting comments here, seems very clear we all have very strong opinions on what’s right and wrong.
Was hoping someone may have made a comment similar to my own situation for advice, So i ought to raise the point, can’t believe i’m unique.
My ex and I separated, following her commting adultery, I stayed in the matrimonial home and the 2 children stayed with me, albeit she looked after them in the day to begin with. After 2 months she secured a property and we agreed that we would have shared care 50/50 arrangement. The childen have lived since then over 18 months now between 2 homes 3 nights one week 4 the next alternating so the parenting is truly 50/50. I believe that she is still regarded legally as the primary carer albeit it is completely 50/50 as she contributes no assistance whilst they are in my care. I’m concerned on the CSA website that it states “main day to day carer” Arguably this is both of us. So here is my confusion.
I agreed to pay £250 per month child maintenance to help out with her ability to provide for the kids. Under her new living/ working arrangements her income of £7000pa was doubled to £14000 with working tax credits plus full family allowance and i believe child tax credits. Plus my £250 per month her net monhtly income is consderable in comparison to the hours worked etc etc. So i guess my gripe is why should i have to contribute to her responsibility as a parent to raise our children when she does not do the same for me. depsite our parenting responsibility being identical.
We are now divorced, she has a new partner and they live together with a joint income (HE HAS NO KIDS). The £250 child maintenance is part of a settlement order which is subject to an annual review -approaching imminantly.
Does anyone know whether a 50/50 arrangement has resulted in neither party paying maintenance by order of a judge or CSA and if so how i can persue this economically. my part of the divorce cost £4500 her’s paid by legal aid. So thought of more legal bills not appealing. Her settlement was 50/50 of our capital which has been paid.
One thing i’ll say is I love my kods more than anything in the world and want the best for them in terms of caring relationship with both parents and a financially stable upbringing where their financial needs are met.
I just feel that in a world where women have strived for equality and in most cases have it, we operate a very ancient legal system where a mother is by default seen as the primary carer and the father automaticaly the non resident parent.
I have suggested to her that this is unfair – she simply says perhaps, but thats the law and why shouldn’t i want to pay for my children. The point is i do, i just don’t want to pay for them when they are with her as her income coupled with her partners income is more than sufficient to cover the cost of caring for 2 children, for the 50% of the time they are with her.
Rant Over – Adivice Please.
ps if you are mother of a child with a low income who’s father is a sh*t and doesn’t pay for, nor want to see their kids Then i am truly sympathetic and agree that the CSA should give you full support to a fairer arrangement. You deserve equality and justice…. but so do I.
Check this out – any facts which may help are appreciated.
Following a “First Tier” Child Support Appeal Tribunal Decision on 3rd March 2010 to increase the Child Support debt owed to my ex-wife to a figure, which rather than one (which has always been paid) and is properly calculated from my £15k PAYE salary. The new calculation must also include company dividends (past and present) in addition to (this addition) the new figure must, as well, include any (jointly shareholder owned Limited Company) profit (weather paid as dividend or not!!) and to top it all I don’t even own a controlling interest in the company! (My shareholding is just a 50% No! my other shareholder isn’t my girlfriend, just another ordinary business man!) My ex-wife’s solicitor thinks I owe £107,000.00 and has kindly offered me the opportunity to settle for a prompt payment of £70k (twit!)
Perversely all Dividends paid to me since I’ve owned my half share and drawn dividends (since May 2006) have entirely gone to pay a directors loan (of £180k) which was taken to buy my ex-wife’s new home following divorce.
After consideration of this unfair finding, my solicitor tells me it is wrong in fact and law. I, unfortunately, now feel I have no choice but to terminate my financial relationship with my company, as this relationship is being milked by this systemm which is putting me, and everyone close to me, under excessive stress. Any future outcome (Higher Tribunal Appeal) may well be life changing if it also finds for my ex-wife. I, therefore, must be managed buy me without hindrance – So, I’ll be unemployed (thanks ex-wife)
I have two lovely children ages 9 & 11 with whom I have “shared residence” (my son lives with me alternate weeks). The CSA still refuse to call me “parent with care”!
hi,
we are yet again having the csa gun held to our heads!
my husband now works through his limitd company, how do we stand with this? help!
Hiya one and all, it’s been very interesting reading your comments.
A bit about my background before I start pulling the punches
I’m twice a dad, once to a beautiful boy called Harvey of which I currently pay my ex through the CSA, and twice to a stunning little girl called Isla who I have with my current partner.
I’m not sure if I can help here at all but share my own views and experiences.
Unlike some on this forum I have a great satisfaction knowing that I am financially supporting my son, however I believe its the way in which it is calculated which is so far flawed it’s beyond belief. It’s a flat 15% of your net income. Even if my son were living with me, I would not be spending 15% of my income on him, not even close! I dont believe most people have 15% of their income spare, after other financial commitments such as rent/mortgage, bills and food etc. So the way maintenance is calculated needs to be fairer, ie to take in to consideration the overall financial position of the father. I’m sure if this happened we wouldnt be talking about ways to reduce the payments.
The other flaw in the calculation is the deduction having your child or children overnight. I do not see Harvey as my ex-partner won’t allow me to. Without going through the courts, at huge cost, which my partner and I can’t afford. They hypocracy is the CSA say financial and emotional support do not work together. What a joke!
It’s about time one of the main parties looked at fathers rights in more detail and came up with a plan to make the system fairer, I’m pretty sure I’d vote for them if they did.
I do agree with what you say Stephen. As a wife of once divorced guy with one child to pay maintenance for. I also sympathise with all the others as there are so many different people and so many different circumstances to consider. And it sooooooooooo not fair for all those single mothers to keep saying how bad they ex partners are. Believe me there are so many guys out there that want to keep seing their kids and pay maintenance but it is very difficult as some women are only usin the fact that they have a kid and the only thing they are interested in is ex’s money.
My hubby is the best dad ever since divorcing his ex after 1.5yrs of a marriage she got half of his money (and still wanted more kept saying how good she was to him because she did not want his investments that he set up for himself when he was 20). Well i do understand that if you divorce you split the assets however its not fair when it was only that guys assets that he worked for all his life and she went into marriage with carrier bag. Using a child to get more money to fund your own lifestyle is just rotten. We have a child together now so had to reduce payments and she still wants us to pay for a childcare although she gets all the benefits going and childcare support. Come on girls get a grip. He used to pay £400pcm as it was a private agreement and his wage was only £1200pcm. So if you get all the support from government can you please tell me girls how can you spend £400pcm on a 8 year old????????????? And dont keep saying “your kids are your resposibility” because you are as much responsible to provide for them.
I am absolutely horrified that there is a site that advises people on how to stop paying maintenance to their children!!
I split from my partner last year & we have a 3 yr old son. My ex is self employed & earns a very good wage. he likes to spend this on nice shiny new vans, holidays & weekend booze binges in the pub. He hasnt paid 1 penny to my son in 14 months. Not even bought a pair of shoes. Quite frankly my son & i do ok as I work full time in sales & earn a good wage (I also pay large nursery bills) but this really isnt the point, why should I pay everything & he gets the luxury lifestyle? Funnily enough he also slags me off for not allowing more contact but when I do he doesnt turn up most of the time due to previously mentioned booze binges!
Is this the sort of behaviour you like to help & promote?? Do these arseholes not realise they are giving money to their children not the EX!!!
I am absolutely sick of hearing about these ‘poor’ men who sow their seeds then moan at having to pay for the children they spawn.
Well I hope you all wallow in the wads of cash you keep from your children & quite honestly I hope you choke on it.
Oh & I forgot to mention that I have no leg to stand on regarding maintenance as my tw@t of an EX is self employed & has a very clever accountant who can make it look like he earns nothing, therefore the Glorious CSA will tap him up for £5 a week maximum. I wouldnt lower myself.
I just hope my beautiful little boy doesn’t inherit any of his pathetic genes & becomes a wonderful father himself one day.
When my ex and I split up she got the house, over £300k and no mortgage – apparently that was what she needed according to her and my solicitor. 4-beds, for one adult and one child. On top of this I paid more maintenance that I needed, now she has gone to the CSA to try and get more – actually I think she will get less this way. The point is that she is using the CSA as a punishment, not to get the best for our child, as her actions could most likely result in reducing my payments. My new partner and I would like to start our own family, but where logic is wrong is that the reductions for future children are disproportionate the the amount paid for the first child. Another thing, there is no means testing ie my ex has a house paid for, works part/time – term time only, gets tax credits and child maintenance which in all works out to about £2k a month net income. Something is wrong somewhere?!?!
Mothers: innocent until proven guilty – Fathers: Guilty until proven innocent.
Interesting thread. Yes, there are honourable women out there who live a sensible life and spend the CSA money in a way which is beneficial for the children and respect the importance of both parents in their child’s life. However, having experienced being the partner of two men with children I disagree that this is the case for all. The system is completely bias towards the mother and completely disregards the rights of the child by denying their father the right to exercise equal parental responsibility.
Interesting thread. Yes, there are honourable women out there who live a sensible life and spend the CSA money in a way, which is beneficial for the children, and respect the importance of both parents in their child’s life. However, having experienced being the partner of two men with children I disagree that this is the case for all. The system is completely bias towards the mother and completely disregards the rights of the child by denying their father the right to exercise equal parental responsibility.
My first partner bought his ex a house plus paid £1000 maintenance whilst she lived in the house with the man she ran off with. His daughters were dressed in second hand clothes from charity shops yet she went on holidays with her partner leaving the girls with us.
My current partner’s ex-wife has taken him to court where he has been ordered to transfer the 6-bedroom house into her name. She lives there with her boyfriend (denied of course in court) and the three children (all different Dad’s so CSA for each one) plus he has been ordered to pay off the joint debts that were run up improving the property. Two years marriage, 40k debt and a son who in his 3 years of life has called three different men ‘Daddy’ as she changes man on average once a year. My partner cannot afford to pay the debt, he cannot even afford a TV license, yet this was disregarded in the court and he was told that the three children need a roof over their head and if he doesn’t pay the debts the house is at risk of being repossessed. The ex said he can work more hours and the judge asked her how, she had a list of how he could earn extra despite having a full time job already. She spent 18k on ‘retail therapy’ since they split up, claiming it was on the family despite the bank statements showing otherwise. Despite this we still had to go and buy his son new shoes as the ones he had were too small and deforming his feet. Not to forget that his ex-wife works just the right amount of hours to get maximum tax credits. In court it seems that anything the mother says is taken at face value but anything a father says has to be proved. My partner couldn’t afford a solicitor yet his ex had a barrister and a solicitor both paid for by Legal Aid!
It is assumed that just because women are ‘mothers’ somehow they have their children’s best interest at heart and someone has to pay for it, no matter whom. The two cases above both show that it is not so. If CSA is to work then there should be accountability. Proof the money goes on a healthy weekly shop not a variety of fast food joints, clothes not the latest ipod, holidays for the children and not for Mum and her latest squeeze. It may sound far-fetched to some but it is a reality for many.
Shared residency should be awarded to both parents, a father should not have to fight for the right to have a say in his child’s upbringing. Child benefit should be paid to both parents. We jump up and down about women’s rights but men’s roles have been reduced to sperm donor and an open wallet. What has happened to men’s rights? More importantly, what has happened to a child’s right to having parents of equal standing in their up bringing?
So, is it too much to ask for my partner to be able to afford to take his son swimming or even buy him an ice cream? I don’t think so. I am sure for many, this is what led them to put in the search engine: ‘how to reduce csa payments’
My local MP is the Lib Dem minister for Family issues, which includes the CSA. I am seriously thinking about starting a petition for a fairer system that
– recognises everyone’s needs
– takes account of the desire of fathers to be able to determine where money is spent and to make sure that it is spent on the child.
– that CSA payments reflect the need of the child and are not substitute income for the mother.
– that payments are means tested, such that the mother does not end up with all the equity and a high income via benefits, CSA etc
– that future children get a fair share of the father’s income
I am not sure how a new system would work, but there must be a fairer way?
Anyone have any views on petitioning for change?
Just had a phone call from an ex girlfriend which i have not seen for 7 years
saying iam the father of her daughter who is 7 years old iam not on the birth certificate and she tells me that the child calls her husband for 7 years dad
she wants me to have a private dna test ? what is the benifit for her to take me to court to
have the test? if i am found to be the father can she demand back payments? even no she has had no contact with me for the 7 years.
This is a very interesting thread.
I have a son with my ex wife and have paid 15% (£220) of my income to her every month for the last 6 and 1/2 years. She didn’t let me see him for the first 18 months of his life and after taking her to court I see him every other saturday for the day. Well I was until 6 weeks ago. She has now moved further away and I can’t afford the petrol to go and pick him up and take him back. She won’t help at all. She’s on over £45000 a year and has just moved into her fiances house. He is a millionaire.
This is what makes me sick because I don’t see my son benefitting from any of my payments, it’s more like it funds her lifestyle. I haven’t had a holiday since he’s been born, I am unable to pay any capital off my mortgage and have to live hand to mouth. This is where dad’s are completely screwed and I think that the mothers income (and there new partners) should be taken into account, so at least the non resident father can live.
The other thing that annoys me is that she just makes changes to what he is doing without asking me. She has changed his school, she has booked her wedding for a day when I’m supposed to have him and is then taking him abroad for 2 weeks. The courts don’t give a shit about it and basically have told me that we have issues between us and until they are sorted out they won’t get involved. As someone else said, it’s the solicitors that win in these cases.
The sad thing is that my son is one who is suffering because she won’t play fair. She has to control everything and is using him as a pawn in her games to get at me. She has broken down a relationship I had built up with my son by being a completely inflexible selfish *****.
All I can say is……..one day it is gonna come back and bite her the arse!!!
My husband has a 3 year old son with the psycho b*tch from hell(sorry but if you knew all the story ou’d say the the same!) We have been together since the child was 6months old and all this time we have been in court to try and see him. Wheen the court order was in place my husband was out of work and could see his son more. Now that he is working he only sees him every other week which is killing him. When he started work she was awful demanding cash all the time-we told her no and offered her £40 a month plus clothes and nappies(all we can afford as my husband has a low paid job and im a student). She told us to eff off and went to CSA. They are the most horrible people to deal with and treat you like crap. They yelled down the phone that we owed money(when we had never even heard from them before) and are now looking for £40 a week which we cannot afford. They didnt even know he was married or that my son lives at home with us and we need to claim a disability variance. Now his ex has stopped us seeing his son coz we wont give her cash. We havent seen him in a month now-my husband turned up as planned-the child was at the door waiting for him and she told him to forget about seeing him without giving her money. Its ridiculous that the courts feel it was fitting to take away the contact order when she assured them everything ws sorted. Sorry for ranting but between her and the csa our lives are being made miserable and we cant even contemplate having our own family because of her.
I separated 3 years ago after being kicked in the head by my drunken ex as i slept on the floor of my son’s room- the second time it had happened – and consequently assaulted me on 3 othe occasions in front of the 2 children, as well as subjected them to emotional abuse about me with lies, and making various false allegations. I left, fought for PR (we weren’t married), tried mediation but stopped because she went missing for two days on a drink and cocaine binge thretening suicide and smashing the house up after a session, went through the courts and got a shared residence order 45 % me to 55% her (which i conceded on the basis that she wasn’t working and was able to have the kids after school rarther than have them in childcare). We borrowed advanced money on the mortgage supposedly to help me pay the debts off for my rented house deposit, furniture, toys, some legal costs etc to the tune of 7k then spent the money on things for her house and a foreign holiday after the building society mistakenly paid it into her account leaving me with the need for a loan which i’m still paying. She has the house and all within it, she has all of the child benefit, she gets over £200 a month of my money, and now she’s working gets working families tax credit which i’m not entitled to. I pay for children’s activities in my time – more than she does – take the kids to the doctors, buy sports kit, dinner money ,school trips because i care if they haven’t got what they need – unlike her. She is going to Croatia for a dance festival and taking the children aged 8 and 11- i’m camping in my friends garden and making the best of it. The CSA and the benefits systems are enabling her to have the final bit of control she needs over me, and not allowing me to have a good financial trouble free life with my two lovely kids. I am looking to go self employed and will do everything to avoid paying her money so i can give my children a better life. The system stinks – there are certainly good and reasonable women out there – i’m in a relationship with one. But there are plenty of power hungry and greedy women out there who are making their children’s lives difficult and are bitter and twisted and dtermined to make their ex’s suffer at all costs. It is wrong that there is a financial benefit for someone having more time – as it will result in people fighting for the time when children need both parents – and it is the right of both parents to choose how to parent how they believe and not be put upon. The system needs to change. I’ve written to my MP to ask for fairness and urge everyone else to do the same – it is an inequality which would not be tolerated if the ball was on the other foot – so i applaud this site, as long as men are doing the right thing. The system needs to be made unworkable along with pressurising MP’s or it won’t change.